


Phantom Pains of the Soul

by liliaeth



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, scott mccall deserves nice things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-09-23 16:08:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liliaeth/pseuds/liliaeth
Summary: The worst pain to a child, is rejection by a parent. When Melissa forces Scott to move in with his Dad after seeing him as a werewolf for the first time, Scott can't help but break to pieces.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taste-the-scittles](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=taste-the-scittles).



  
  


Sometimes the goalposts in life change. No matter how much you aren’t ready for them to. When Scott had been a kid, the worst thing he could imagine was disappointing his Dad. when Dad was disappointed, he got angry, and he’d start looking for more things to complain about, whether it was the cost of Scott’s asthma medication or how much time Scott spent over at Stiles’ or Theo’s place.

 

When Dad was angry he’d get drunk, and when he got drunk...well then there was nothing Scott could do right, no matter if he made a sound or stayed quiet as a mouse.

 

But like with anything, when you deal with it often enough, you get used to it. So when the day came that Dad left, the worst thing Scott figured he’d ever face was that awkward dinner where Dad said he was leaving, and Mom told him about the divorce. So the goalposts changed. And Scott wished he’d been able to go back to how things had been before.

 

Dad had kept staring at him,making Scott feel like this was somehow his fault. That there was something he’d done that made his Dad so tired of him that he didn’t want to see Scott anymore.

 

And the older he got the more the worst thing that could happen had moved. From Theo leaving, to that week Stiles hadn’t wanted to talk to him. It wasn’t until he finally got so desperate that he drove his bike up to Stiles place, that he found out Stiles’ Mom had died.

 

Scott had run up the stairs and pulled Stiles into a hug, refusing to let go. Even the idea of anything happening to Mom was too horrible to imagine. Ever since Scott and Stiles were inseparable, where one went, the other was as well. Rarely apart for more than the hours of night, and not even always that.

 

But that night, and for years after that, he’d thought that that week was the worst week of his life.

 

And then as is always the case, things got worse.

 

He was bitten. His humanity was stolen from him. And coming with it, the constant threat that he might one day become a killer. Life just seemed to love things like that. Resetting the goalposts till he had to accept that things could always get worse. So best to be happy with the good you had right now. Or at least push through the bad times and hope things would get better. After all, they had to do so eventually? Right?

  
  
  
  
  


*********

  
  
  
  


“She’ll get used to it, she has to, she’s your Mom.”

 

Stiles words rang through his head as he stared at the packed bags standing at the door. He’d been having trouble breathing all day, a weight on his heart looming over him, ready to drag him down a cliff, clinging tightly to a tiny thread of hope that just barely kept him from going under.

 

“Mom.’

 

For a moment he dared ignore the bags,staring at her. She was in the same room with him, no door between them. She had to look at him, she just had to. She didn’t.

 

She didn’t move. Her eyes down, staring at her hands, he knelt down in front of her, reaching out to her, she pulled away from him.

 

“Mom, please.”

 

“Your Dad will be here in an hour.”

 

“Dad? Why?” He didn’t understand.

 

“He’s… He’s taking you to San Francisco. I can’t… You can’t stay here. I can’t let you stay here.”

She was shaking,Scott wanted to touch her, to make her feel better, he wanted her to hug him, to tell him that none of this was happening. But she pulled away from him and turned her back on him instead, staring away from him

 

He stood there, unable to say a word, he didn’t even realize his claws were cutting in his palms until he felt the blood sliding down his fingers.

 

He could hear her heart pounding, something that smelled like fear coming off of her, it felt like a physical punch in the gut. She might as well have clawed his heart out of his chest, it would have hurt less.

 

“Mister Argent was here earlier.” she whispered, her voice breaking on the name. “He said, he said a lot of things. I can’t… You have to go.”

 

She didn’t need to explain. Of course Mister Argent would have told her what a monster Scott was. How could his Mom not hate him, when even Allison’s father thought he was a monster that was better off dead. He wasn’t human anymore, hadn’t been in weeks, months. 

But he still felt, still loved her, why couldn’t she love him, the new him?

 

Scott ran. 

 

He didn’t think about where he was running to, didn’t think why, he just ran.

 

He didn’t really have a location in mind, just knew he had to get away from her, from what had been home. He couldn’t go to Derek. If he did, Gerard might find the other werewolf, and Scott couldn’t risk that. He couldn’t go to Allison, not after the way she’d looked at him at the station, the anger she’d held, it was almost as bad as Mom’s fear. And he didn’t know what he’d done wrong, was it because of her Mom? Because she’d been bitten? He had no idea.

 

He didn’t realize he was at Stiles’ place until he was already climbing into Stiles’ bedroom. The window opened far too easily, and he slid through, staring into the dark of the empty room, lingering in Stiles’ scent, falling down on Stiles bed, clinging to his pillow for any shred of comfort, curling up and holding on to himself as if he’d fall to pieces if he let go.

 

He couldn’t let himself cry, no matter how much he wanted to. The tears falling down his face betrayed him.

 

It felt like an eternity had passed by the time that the door opened. The sheriff didn’t even look surprised to find him there. He was holding a phone, “he’s here.”

 

No escape.

 

“It’s alright Scott.” Scott didn’t want to look at him, sitting up on the bed nonetheless. “Your Dad’s downstairs.”

He’d even missed the sound of the man’s car. The sheriff approached him as if he was about to make another run for it, Getting in between Scott and the door. 

 

“I don’t want to go with him. Can’t I stay here?” It was a desperate request. Even if Mom didn’t want him anymore, then he should still have Stiles, shouldn’t he?

 

“He’s your father, Scott. He cares about you.”

 

Cared so much that he’d left, run away from him, and never looked back. Dad hadn’t wanted him, so why should Scott want him? 

 

Scott held Stiles pillow in front of him, as if to shield him from the world.

“I need to see Stiles.”

 

The Sheriff flinched.

 

“Please, I have to, I have to talk to him.”

 

“Your mother, she… she said it might be best if you didn’t… That you’ve gotten caught up in something, that could put Stiles in danger. Was she right?”

 

Scott wanted to tell him no, that Stiles was safe. But how could he promise that when only last night, Matt had sent Jackson out to kill them. When Stiles had faced off with hunters and werewolves, and he’d done so for Scott’s sake.

 

“Dad, no! She’s wrong.” Scott looked up as Stiles stood in the door. “Scott’s only involved in this crap because of me. Because i was stupid and dragged Scott in it with me. It’s my fault, and you can’t … you can’t let them take him away. You just can’t.”

Stiles was begging, the sheriff looked torn, but Scott knew that look, the man had already made his decision and it wasn’t in their favor.

 

“Stiles.” 

 

Stiles glared at his father, but the sheriff wasn’t the kind of man to back down, so when Stiles started up at him, telling his father just what he thought of his and Melissa’s stupid idea, Scott wanted to get up and beg them to stop. Not because of him.

The more stiles started shouting, the more Scott’s throat seemed to constrict, and the harder his heart beat in his chest.

 

Scott barely even realized he was having another panic attack before Sheriff Stilinski had already pulled an inhaler from the drawer next to Stiles’ bed.

 

When he handed it to Scott, Scott grabbed on to it like a lifeline, taking breath after breath until he no longer felt like he was drowning.

 

Stiles had knelt by his feet , his hand on Scott’s chest. The sheriff stood beside him, a foot away from them both. Scott stared up at him.

 

“Please, Dad. It’s Scott. You know Scott.”

 

The sheriff didn’t answer. Instead he moved to the door. “It will be fine’ was all he said before he went downstairs, joining Scott’s own father.

 

“I don’t want to go.” Scott whispered. “He hasn’t cared for years, Stiles. Why would that change now?”

 

“Scott.”

 

Scott stood up and startled. He hadn’t even heard his father’s footsteps on the stairs. So lost in his pain that he’d been open target for anyone that might mean him harm. Hunter or kanima;

 

Rafael McCall looked big and looming, even as he stood still in the door.

“I know this is hard, Scott. But I’m here to help.”

 

It only made things worse, knowing that the man was only here because Mom didn’t want him anymore.

 

“You’ll be safe in San Francisco.”

Scott glared at him. Not ready to talk to the man that had sired him once upon a time, and then decided that he wouldn’t ever be good enough.

 

“I’m sure you kids can stay in touch online.” Dad said, as if trying to appease them, trying to seem the congenial father figure that they both knew he wasn’t.

 

Scott fell in Stiles arms, and the two boys held on to one another for dear life. But they only had so much time before Rafael decided they had to leave. He told Scott he hadn’t been allowed off until next week, so they had to get back to his place before nightfall. 

 

Rafael had already put Scott’s things in his car. He tried to start a conversation on the drive, but Scott didn’t want to talk to him. 

 

It was already late by the time they arrived in San Francisco, the moon shining high in the night sky as Scott entered the apartment, staring at the cold, dated furniture that hadn’t changed since the last time Scott had been there, over eight years ago.

 

Rafael looked as nervous as Scott himself felt. Talking about how they’d get Scott a new bed in the weekend, that Scott could pick his own room if he wanted to. As if throwing money at him would solve the problems between them.

 

Scott blocked him out and sat on the couch. He was still sitting there when Rafael gave him a pile of blankets, when Rafael turned off the light,and Scott sat in the dark, staring at the wall. He hid his face in the blankets and let go. He could feel the wolf in his heart and soul curl up in the blankets, not even bothering to get undressed. Sleep didn’t come easy.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Dad left him to adjust to the new place when he went to work the next morning. Scott felt subdued as he made himself some toast and stared at the window and the busy street outside of it. The heavy traffic was hard on a wolf’s sensitive nose and he quickly made sure to stay inside while he got used to it.

His computer was still back at Mom’s place, and Dad had taken his own laptop with him to work. Scott hadn’t wanted to talk to the man for long enough to ask him about it.

He put on the television, but didn’t bother watching it. Instead he grabbed his school bag and started doing his homework, just to get his mind off of things. They were supposed to have had a math test tomorrow, and he knew he had to work on bio. Stiles was supposed to be helping him with it. Not that Stiles was an expert himself, Scott usually was better at it than Stiles was. But he had a way of turning questions, that made you think deeper on the subject. 

He still had Stiles’ notes in his bag, he felt a sudden urge that he had to give them back, but he knew he couldn't. It just made the banishment feel even worse than it already did. 

When Dad got home, he had Chinese food with him. Scott ate it silently, while Dad kept talking about how an old friend of his ran the administrative office for St Francis High school. “Normally they wouldn't let a student in so late in the year, but Jim said he’d make an exception. You’ll just have to work with one of their guidance counsellors and a tutor to get you ready for next year.”

Dad seemed so hopeful, Scott wanted to scream at him. To tell him that he didn’t want to be here, that he didn’t care about this new school. But he didn’t have the energy to do so. And all he could think of was the look on Mom’s face. 

“You just have to make sure you stay out of trouble. Your Mom didn’t tell me what happened. She just said that you’d be safer here.”

Safer, safer for her, for Stiles. 

Dad dropped him off at his new school the next day. ‘No need to delay things’ he’d said, Scott had missed too much class already that year. The school looked like a grey block in front of him. Set in the middle of a busy street.

Dad escorted him to administration, and then he left. Leaving Scott sitting on a hard bench in the hallway waiting for Dad’s ‘friend’. The man eyed him as if he were some delinquent ready to cause trouble. Scott tried to avoid his eyes, staring at the nameplate on the desk instead. James Turner, vice principal. Scott cringed under his glare, as much as he would have if this had been Victoria Argent he’d been dealing with. The man finally stopped staring at Scott in order to go through his papers instead, mumbling something incomprehensible even to werewolf hearing.

“I hope you realize just how much trouble I’m going through for your sake, Mister McCall. And how much of a favor this is that I’m doing for your father. This school is not some public school, out to accept kids on their last chance.”

Scott nodded. Which only seemed to annoy the man more. Scott wasn’t sure what the man wanted from him. He wished he could just be at Beacon Hills.

“That means that I expect you to work twice as hard to catch up with our curriculum. No getting in trouble. Your father didn’t tell me what went on back in Beacon Hills. But I hope you realize how grateful you should be that you are given this chance in the first place. ”

“Yes, sir.” Scott kept his eyes down cast.

The man seems to have expected him to be rude, belligerent. When Scott wasn’t any of those things, the man’s attitude changed a bit. He gave Scott another look. Scott trembled and tried to make himself smaller, when Mr Turner got up, Scott wished he could just disappear, he wanted to jump out of his chair, but stayed put until the man made it clear the conversation was done.

“Scott, I just want you to know that our guidance counsellor is always willing to talk if you need to do so. But until you are ready for that, I’ll try and get you a private tutor to help you catch up. Don’t make me regret this”

“Yes, sir, thank you sir.”

The man gave him a pat on the shoulder before sending him off to the secretary’s office.   
With his paperwork taken care of, . Scott walked through the empty halls, feeling like a ghost haunting a house that wasn't his.

The secretary quickly introduced him to the teacher before leaving him behind, Scott stood there with nary a nigh empty bag with a set of the wrong books and a half used note pad.. Most of his books from Beacon Hills were still in his locker back home. He hadn’t even had the time to empty his locker. The teacher didn’t even bother to tell him to introduce himself, just told him to share a book with a classmate till he could go get his own after class.

The kid begrudgingly made room on the other side of the desk, and seemed pissed that he had to let Scott touch his book.

Scott didn’t even dare to ask him for help, just took notes and hoped he could remember enough to read the book once he could get his own.

Turns out the new school was ahead of Beacon Hills, making things even worse than they’d been back at home. 

He tried to smile at the kid they’d ordered him next to, but the guy blatantly huffed at him. As if Scott were an intruder. Yet it wasn’t as if scott had wanted to come here. Scott could feel his hackles rise before he even knew what it was that was bothering him. It wasn’t until he took a deep breath that he realized there were at least three other werewolves in the class with him.

He froze, keeping his head down, and trying not to panic. The other wolves stared at him sometimes, either in class or in between classes. He tried to keep to himself, and he managed for the past part. But then he got to math...It was then that the scent hit him. He stared up at the teacher in front of the class. The man looked at him, and Scott knew, just knew. The scent was gone a second later, hiding it. It made him shiver how effortlessly the alpha made it feel .

Scott tried to make himself look even smaller. Focusing on the class, but he knew that as far as the other pack was concerned he was a stranger, a possible threat. He tried not to get in their way, but it was obvious they didn’t feel the same way.

He wanted to leave class as soon as it was done. But the teacher didn’t make it that easy, telling him to stay behind. The three other wolves did as well. Scott shivered, feeling vulnerable under their stares.

“You’re an omega.” Scott nodded, unable to deny it. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to accept Derek as his alpha, not after all the things Derek had done. And now here he was on his own. No pack, not even Stiles and Allison to back him up.

“Why did you get kicked out of your pack.” one of the other kids snarled.

“Martin.” the Alpha spoke the word as a reprimand, and Martin instantly pulled in. 

“I wasn’t, I… I refused my Alpha, because…” Scott wasn’t sure how to explain any of it. “Peter he attacked me, bit me. And then he tried to make me kill with him. I couldn't….” He lost control for a second, his eyes going gold before he managed to force himself to shift back.

The Alpha approached him, and Scott flinched, scared, but refusing to run.   
“It’s alright, son. No one is going to judge you for not wanting to be a killer.”

He could tell them about Derek, about the Argents, but he didn’t know them, and telling them about Peter was bad enough. The Alphas presence felt threatening, and part of Scott wanted to show him his neck, submit. But he couldn't bring himself to do so. Not after Peter, not after Derek. Who said this Alpha was any better than they had been?

“If you need help. I’m the guidance counselor as well as the math teacher.”

Scott stared up at him. 

“And I’m sure the rest of the pack is more than willing to help you get settled into school. Right, guys?”

Scott knew that was an order, not a request. It was an offer he himself was unsure how to refuse.

“Daniel, Malik, show Scott around. Martin. I think we need a talk first.”  
Scott cringed in the boy’s stead, but grabbed his bag tight before following the other two wolves outside. They were both larger than him, and he felt small surrounded by them. 

“Don’t worry, Uncle Greg likes to play big bad Alpha, but he’s a softie.”  
Scott stared back at the class, looking through the window where the teacher was still talking to Martin. He made an effort not to listen in on them.

“It sucks that some asshole bit you without even asking first. My Mom and Dad are both wolves. But Malik here was bitten by Greg, when I asked him to.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Why wouldn't I want my best friend to be part of the pack?”

“Scott.” Malik’s voice sounded oddly soft coming from a guy even bigger than Boyd had been. “It sucks that your Alpha was a dick, but that’s not what packs are supposed to be like.”  
Scott wanted to believe him, but how could he. After Peter… and it wasn’t like Derek had been all that much nicer in his time as the Alpha.

“But what about Hunters?” 

“Ugh, hunters suck.” Daniel spat out the word ‘hunters’ as if it was trash.

“Don’t remind me,” Malik said, not sounding much happier, “we had to lay low all of last year when the Argents were in town. Thank God they finally left. “

“They’re in Beacon Hills now.” Scott whispered.

“Where you’re from? Fuck, that had to suck.”

“But well, you’re not there anymore, you’re here in lovely San Fran by the bay. And you, lucky sod, get to have the front row tour all over town.”

“And we will, soon as that white boy over there is done getting his ass reamed by Mister Morrison. Don’t worry about Martin, he’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, but he’s our idiot.”

Scott shivered, feeling even more like an outsider. He didn’t belong here.


	3. Chapter 3

Scott, 

I am so damn pissed at my Dad, I can’t even begin to express it. He said I can’t skype you, but he said nothing about sending you an email. I don’t care what they say or do, we’ll get you back here, even if I have to smuggle you in myself. Until then, I hope that your Dad isn’t being too much of an asshole to you?

I tried talking to Derek, but somehow he thinks I’m ‘too human’ to be involved in things. Damn werewolf superiority complex. And I can’t even find Isaac, Boyd or Erica, from what I heard, all three of them ran off after the big game.

Biggest news of all, I somehow managed to score the winning goal. Can you believe it? Me, winning an actual game? I think Coach was about ready to have an aneurysm when he realized it. I might actually be on first line next year. Hoping you’ll be here with me then, because it would suck if I had to deal with Jackson on my own.

Anyway, I’ll try and talk some sense in my Dad.

See you soon,

Stiles

 

 

He read the mail a time or ten more, trying to figure out what Stiles was hiding. It wasn’t what Stiles did say, it was what he wasn’t saying. Some grumbling about Derek refusing to listen to him, now that Scott wasn’t around. How Isaac, Erica and Boyd had ran off after the big game. Nobody had heard of any of them since. Scott feared how that had to make Derek feel, having not just Scott, but all three of his betas leaving him like that.

But what Stiles didn’t talk about, was Gerard, and what the older Argent was up to. There was no mention of what was going on with Jackson. Scott had an alert on for the Beacon Hills news, and there was no mention of any more animal related deaths. But that didn’t have to mean anything.

Scott had asked Stiles about the plan to poison Gerard. But since Derek wasn’t talking to Stiles, there was no way to know if Gerard had approached him yet.

Dad was on his ‘spend more time with his son’ kick, that only served to make both of them feel uncomfortable. Luckily telling him that he was hanging out with new friends, seemed to hold him off somewhat. Especially since Malik’s Mom and Dad kept an eye on them as they hung out in their diner.

Scott couldn’t help but throw a jealous glance as Malik joked with his Mom about doing his chores. The woman had taken one look at Scott, and had instantly taken him under her wing. Scott couldn't believe it when she joked about keeping the pups busy. Malik told him that there was no way he’d been able to lie to his Mom about being a werewolf, especially once all the symptoms of his dozens of allergies just disappeared from one day to the next.

Scott had gone silent after that, remembering the look on his Mom’s face when she’d found out. Maybe he should have told her sooner, found a better way to tell her. But what if he had, and he’d lost her then? He couldn't help but cling to every moment he’d had with her, and fear how much less he could have had.

“Do your parents know?” Malik had asked the first time he brought scott come home with him.

“My Mom does.” He closed his eyes, forcing the tears at bay. 

Malik didn’t push, but the next time Scott showed up at the diner, Malik’s Mom pushed him some free pie, and it was like he was another of her kids. 

Malik had five siblings, two older, three younger, and every last one of them seemed ready to conquer the world. Malik’s older brother and sister were both in college, and one of his younger sisters was a ballet prodigy, while his younger brother was a veritable genius with cars.

It made Scott feel bad that he barely even knew enough to change a tire.

Daniel had one older brother, but it seemed that Aaron wasn’t talking to the family at the moment. The guy had joined some primal pack up north, and felt that his parents were too ‘domesticated’ to understand him. Daniel said the guy had always gone over the top with stuff. Their Mom and Dad just expected him to come home in a few months or so, as soon he missed his laptop and internet and clean laundry.

Martin, well Martin had … issues. Especially with Scott. 

Martin seemed convinced that Scott was up to something. That Scott was planning to kill Greg, insert himself into the pack, and destroy it from the inside out, or some other crap like that. Scott wasn’t even sure what he wanted right now, other than to go back home and see his Mom.  
Greg was nice enough. He was definitely nicer than Derek had been.But no matter how nice he was, Scott couldn’t bring himself to just submit himself to an Alpha, any Alpha. If he had to, Greg wasn’t a bad choice, he seemed to care enough about his packs’ opinions, and he seemed to prefer talking over kicking the crap out of people. 

But then Scott had met him as a guidance counsellor, and it was like his listening just set him up to make you talk whether you wanted to or not, and then use whatever scrap you gave him, to open you up even more.

It had taken Scott only two sessions before he dared bring up Gerard Argent being the school principal back home. Greg had already known. It was on his school files after all. Scott had shivered when he talked about the cameras the Argents had put up at the school, all to spy on Allison and make sure she wasn’t hanging out with the ‘wrong’ people, meaning him. 

How Peter had attacked him, Allison, Stiles, Lydia and Jackson at the school, how Derek had stalked him at the school and picked his betas there. How he’d tried to talk Boyd out of accepting the bite. 

He hadn’t been able to tell Greg how Derek had betrayed him, ambushed him alongside Peter, let Peter put his claws in Scott’s neck, or how sometimes Scott still dreamt Peter’s dreams of burning alive. He hadn’t been able to talk yet about how he’d begun to trust Derek, how he’d believed that for all Derek did, that he meant well, he just didn’t know how to express it. And then Derek had shattered that growing trust all to shreds. 

And even then, he still had wanted Derek to understand that Peter was just using him, just like he was trying to use Scott. Peter was good at that, at manipulating people into doing what he wanted them to, and he’d wanted to believe that if Derek could see through that, he’d break free of it

Only to find out that Derek had been lying to him all along. That he never planned to let Scott find a cure, that he’d killed Peter in front of them all with nary a thought of Scott. And Scott had to wonder, had anything Derek told him, been true? Why should he trust an Alpha who had been trying to use him, just as much as Peter had.

It was that, more than anything, that kept him from accepting Greg’s offer to join his pack. Scott desperately wanted to belong, he felt that desire to be part of a pack deep down in his bones, and it urged him to just give in, to know that he shouldn’t refuse this opportunity, because it might not come again. And yet, whenever he thought of doing so, all he could think of was the look on Derek’s face as he killed Peter. 

I don’t want to be like that Omega Gerard cut in half Stiles. I don’t want to be so miserable that I end up tearing open corpses, hungering on people’s organs, desperate for power or belonging. I don’t want to be alone.  
Stiles had sent him a two line response before Scott could even close outlook.

Gerard freaking cut a guy in half?!!!!!!  
And for the record, you’d never be like that. Not as long as I’m still alive. 

It settled something in his guts, somewhere that the need for pack lingered in his guts. That as long as he had Stiles, he had a pack. It strengthened him enough to refuse Greg’s offer, no matter how tempting it might be, and it made him miss Stiles even more than he had before.

Daniel had just looked at Malik, when Scott told him about Stiles. He didn’t need any more explanation than that. Martin just saw it as even more evidence that Scott was up to something.

Dad, he just figured Scott was settling in. Scott found it harder and harder to tell his father that what he really wanted, was to save up enough money to get a bus back to Beacon Hills, and the chance to take it. A way to figure out where Isaac, Boyd and Erica had gone off to, and bring them back home with him.

He clung to Stiles messages as a lifeline, just as desperately as he prayed for any word on Allison. But Allison had gone dark on him, refusing to talk to him ever since her Mom had tried to kill Scott. Stiles hadn’t said anything about her, even when Scott asked him about it. 

And then Jackson's body was found, torn to shreds and cut in half, like Laura’s had been, and the need to go home grew more and more urgent.


	4. Chapter 4

  
  


Scott held on tightly to his bag as he stepped onto the bus. The ride hadn’t been cheap, he'd had to cut in his motorcycle savings, but Dad wasn’t going to pay for the trip. Not when he believed that Scott would be safer staying in San Francisco. He believed that Mom had sent Scott to him because of all the murders that had happened in town. He didn’t know, and Scott didn’t dare tell him. 

 

So instead of trying to convince the man that he desperately needed to go back, Scott had breakfast with his father and pretended he was heading of to school, instead of back to Beacon Hills.

 

The bus stank of motor oil, and sweat, and a lingering note of pee that pervaded the far too small space. Scott wanted to open the window to let in some fresh air, but the windows were locked. He nearly choked on the stench and had to fight the urge to vomit.

 

He tried to block it out, resting his head against the headrest. He used his phone to send a message to Stiles. Stiles had sent only one response. 

  
_ “Everything’s alright. I’m fine. _ ”

 

Which only made him more scared and made him wish he could have found a faster way to get back to Beacon Hills. 

 

He sent a quick message back to Malik, who’d been messaging him non-stop since he hadn’t shown up at school that morning.

 

He had five missed calls from his Dad. Scott hadn’t even dared listen to them.

 

He turned off the phone and put it away in his bag, trying to think of what he’d do when he did get back in town. He’d have to find Stiles, talk to Derek maybe, and Allison…

 

God, Stiles had told him about her mother’s death, he couldn't even begin to imagine how Allison had to be feeling. Especially knowing Mrs Argent had killed herself. Scott quietly stared at his claws, trying to imagine hating himself that much, that he’d kill himself over it. 

 

He couldn't deny how hard it had been for him those first days… weeks. Coming to grips with losing his humanity, being something alien to himself. He’d felt like he no longer belonged in his own body, as if there was this violent stranger that had forced itself inside of him, and if he wasn’t careful that stranger would break free and tear apart everything he loved.

 

But even at his worst he’d never imagined killing himself over it. Killing the thing inside of him, sure; finding a cure, definitely; but killing himself?

 

He tapped the window with his claws, careful not to break it. It might improve the smell though. He stared at his fangs reflecting in the window, at the face that had horrified his mother. He heard someone gasp behind him, and he quickly shifted back to himself before turning around, staring at the old woman who rubbed through her eyes as if she was questioning what she’d seen. 

 

When the trip was finally over, she quickly moved away from him, up to an older man who seemed to be waiting for her and took her in his arms.

 

He didn’t have any luggage, just grabbed his bag and stared up the road.

 

He turned his phone back on, another three missed calls from his Dad, one call from Greg, two from Malik, and one from Stiles.

 

“Scott, your Dad’s worried sick. And so am I. Let me know where you are, so I can come pick you up.”

 

Scott could hear the worry in Stiles’ voice over the crackle of the phone. He wanted to crush the thing, ignore it, but he couldn’t..

 

He didn’t even need to look at the number, years of calling him had long since made dialing Stiles’ number a matter of muscle memory. Stiles didn’t even make him wait more than two beats before he picked up.

 

“Hi.” He was hesitant, unsure what to say or do.

 

“Don’t you ‘hi’ me. Damn it Scott, you can’t just…” Scott let Stiles ramble on for a few more minutes of worried anger, he knew he deserved it.

 

“I had to come home.” Was the only excuse he had.

 

“You’re in Beacon Hills.” Stiles gasped in relief.

 

“I’m at the bus depot.”

 

Stiles voice went quiet for a moment, as if he needed a moment to think. “Oh fuck, my Dad sent deputies there, you’d better get out of there before one of them finds you.”

 

Scott stared around and realized what Stiles’ meant when he saw one of the sheriff’s deputies talking to the busdriver before heading his way.

 

The guy yelled at him, Scott backed off for a moment before turning around. The deputy came right after him. Scott took off into an alley, jumping over a wall to get rid of any pursuers.

 

“Scott. Scott!” It was Stiles’ terrified voice on the other end of the phone that made him realize he hadn’t yet ended the call.

 

“I’m fine. Just had to run for a bit.”

 

“Oh fuck. I should have just let them grab you so that at least you’d be safe. You big furry idiot. What were you thinking, coming back like that. ”

 

“I saw an article about Jackson.”

 

“Fuck. Scott, I didn’t… ”

 

“You didn’t want me to find out so I wouldn’t worry?” He could hear Stiles’ heartbeat raging in his chest as his voice went silent. “I get it, and you were right because I did worry. What happened, Stiles?”

 

“I think it was Derek and Peter. They caught up with him, Derek said they’d found a way to take him down long enough to…”

 

“Oh God.”

 

“I’m at Lydia’s place. She’s… She’s taking it badly, Scott.” Scott could imagine it. No matter what had happened between Lydia and Jackson, they still mattered to one another. For him to die, especially after the way they’d ended things....

 

“Stay there, I’m coming.”

 

“Scott! Be careful, the Argents have ramped up their patrols, they’re barely even secretive about it anymore.” But Scott couldn’t continue listening. He didn’t even know if there was any need to hurry, just this incessant urge that told him he had to check in on them, on Stiles, on Lydia, even on Derek. If this hurt so bad for him, Derek had to be tearing himself to pieces over it.

 

Scott ended the call and started running, sticking to the shadows even as he ran on all fours, desperate to see Stiles. He barely managed to avoid a few cars, too worried to fully think on what he was doing.

 

When the sound spit through the air, he froze, grabbing his ears in pain. It stopped him long enough that he was almost ready for the flash of light going off right in front of him.

 

He rubbed his eyes, trying to unblur his vision. The sound started up again. It made him want to run away, and duck for cover.

 

That’s when he saw her. “Allison?”

 

“You shouldn't have come back, Scott.”

 

An arrow came his way, he managed to stop it before it hit his neck.

 

“Hold your fire.” He heard Allison scream, but the other hunters had already shot of another barrage of gunfire before letting go with another arrow, hitting Scott in the side before he could get out of its way.

 

He pulled back and ran, away from the noise, away from the guns and the arrows, away from Allison. Tears threatened to fill his eyes at the notion that Allison would be a part of this.

 

He didn’t stop until he reached Lydia’s front door, leaning up against it, his hand moved to his side, the blood covering the arrow, the wound unable to heal around the wood.

 

He was about to ring the bell when the door opened, and he fell inside. “Scott!” Stiles grabbed him and pulled him in, Scott stared up at him. 

 

“I think Allison hates me now.” He whispered before losing consciousness, too exhausted to fight it any longer. Stiles eyes him anxiously as he fell into the dark.

  
  
  
  


*******   
  
  


 

When he woke up, he was lying on the couch, he stared up at Stiles’ face. Stiles was sitting down next to him, a cloth in his hand as he was cleaning up Scott’s injuries.

 

“Damn it, Scottie, I knew I shouldn't let you come back to town.”

 

“Stiles?” He winced in pain as even the one word made him move his injury.

 

“I called Derek, he was going to try and find wolfsbane, so we can take care of it. Bastard wouldn't even pick up the phone till I told him you were in danger.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Scott wasn’t even sure what he was apologizing for. 

 

“Derek’s an ass. I’ve been trying to tell him about your plan, but I’m apparently too ‘human’ to be involved in any of this.”

 

“I’m not sure if the plan would still work, Stiles.” 

 

Stiles didn’t answer as he wet the rag in the water. 

 

“So what is the plan then?” Scott tried to get up as Lydia entered the room. “Because there’s no way I’m going to let them get away with murdering Jackson.” Lydia looked perfectly made up which looked at odds with her being in her own home. But then again, he could smell the salt of tears and realized she was putting up a front more than anything else, and the least he owed her was to accept that front.

 

“Lydia.”

 

“And don’t you Lydia me, you … overgrown doglike boy, you…” Her words were harsh, but they were breaking apart. “Why didn’t you tell me, so I could do something, so I could help?” She sounded so utterly confident. But her scent gave her away, she smelled angry, but not so much at them, at some undefined source. Angry, and somehow sad at the same time. No, not sad, disappointed. 

 

Scott realized her anger wasn’t aimed at him and Stiles, or not just at them. She was angry at Allison, her best friend for lying to her. But Allison wasn’t here, and they were. 

 

“We didn’t want to ruin your life as well..?” What started as a statement ended up becoming an unsure question. 

 

“Except that it did.”

 

She didn’t have to say it, he knew as well as she did that she was talking about Peter, Peter’s attack on her.

 

“So tell me.”

 

Scott closes his eyes and sat up fully, trying not to stare at the black veins on his arms and chest. 

 

“It all started when Stiles and I went looking for a body.” Scott whispered. “When I was attacked.”


	5. Chapter 5

5.

 

 

 

Scott wasn’t sure what to say. His phone went off, and he grabbed for it without thinking.

“Daniel.”

“Damn it man, where are you.”

“Beacon Hills.”

“Fuck, and you didn’t take us with you?”

He sat stunned. “You might not want to be pack, but you’re our friend too, Scott.”

Scott shivered and coughed.

Daniel gasped, hearing it; “What’s going on?”

“Hunters, shot me, I’m… I’m waiting for Derek, he was going to…”

“Oh fuck, you have the worst of luck, don’t you. I’m telling Greg to put pedal to the metal. You’re-”

“You don’t have to.”

“Course we do.We’re your friends.”

“It isn’t safe.”

“When is it ever?”

Stiles was looking at him. Eying him as if he was trying to stop himself from saying something.

“San Francisco friends?”

Scott nodded, trying to stay up on the couch. Scott could feel a whiff of jealousy coming from Stiles, but he knew his friend well enough to know that for Stiles, it was about how Scott had had all these experiences that Stiles hadn’t been a part of. Scott could understand that, whenever he’d been with Greg’s pack, he’d looked around and expected Stiles to be there, when he learned something new, he’d wanted to call Stiles and tell him about it. Not having him there had felt like a part of him had been cut off.

Someone knocked on the door, and Stiles checked the window before opening it. Derek looked haggard. There was a broken look in the Alpha's eyes, as if something had torn down what little defenses he had, and shredded the insides to pieces.

Scott wanted to reach out to him, hold him. But then he remembered Jackson. How Derek had bitten Jackson, giving Jackson what he asked for, not caring about the cost. How Derek had thought he could deal with all of it on his own, not needing any help. Fuck, how had things gone so wrong so quickly?

Derek took a look at his injuries, and one by one removed the bullets, inspecting them as he did so. The look in his eyes grew worse with every bit of metal he digged out of Scott, with every drop of black blood touching his skin.

He tried to burn out the poison, but there was too much of it, it had gone too deep. And they both knew that now it was only a matter of time.

“I’m sorry.” Derek whispered.

Scott looked at him worried.

“I tried to get a bullet of one of the hunters, but they were ready for me.”

Scott knew there was more to it than that, but he didn’t dare ask.

Derek didn’t leave, that was the biggest change. Derek stayed, as if to make sure that Scott was really there. Scott wasn’t sure what to say to him. Derek didn’t need another person judging him, not another person he’d feel was blaming him for his failure.

“It’s ok,” he tried to say, even though it wasn’t.  At least now his Mom wouldn’t have to look at him anymore.

“Like hell ‘it’s ok’! ” Stiles yelled. “They might stop you, but they won’t stop me. Gerard’s hunters won’t bother a human, I can get a bullet if I have to march my Dad right into their house myself!”

“Stiles, your Dad, he…”

“I’ll tell him the truth, that Gerard had you shot, that he’s got the antidote to something they poisoned you with. I’ll tell him whatever I have to. I…” Scott tried to force himself up, instead he grabbed Stiles’ hand. Stiles fell, sitting next to him.

“I can’t lose you, Scott. I can’t alright, I just can’t.”

“You won’t have to.” Scott stared up at the door, his nose only now catching the scent, the tone of heartbeat he should have noticed the second it came close to the house.

“Allison.”

“Lydia let me in.” Scott stared up at Lydia standing right behind Allison, glaring at Derek. He closed his eyes, ready to weather a storm if he had to. But then Allison opened her hand and held out a bullet.

“That’s what you need, right?”

Stiles almost fumbled moving up to her, grabbing the bullet, almost dropping it in his haste.

“Yes! Oh man, yes.” He broke it open, and Scott leant closer as Stiles poured the wolfsbane powder on the coffee table.  Derek once again held out the lighter he’d used earlier and burned the wolfsbane before Stiles pushed it into Scott’s wounds, spreading it into every hole they’d left behind.

The cure felt almost worse than the poison. Burning him up as if he had a fever that went from zero to a hundred in less than a second.

“So you’re better now?” Lydia asked. Scott wanted to tell her yes, as he slowly got up to his feet. His balance still unsteady. “Then Derek can get the fuck out of my house, before I put one of those bullets into his head.”

“Lydia, he…”

“He what, Scott? He didn’t kill Jackson? He didn’t cut Jackson in half? He didn’t send his Betas to murder me, in your house at that?” Scott knew he couldn't deny any of that, and yet…

“He was trying to stop Jackson from killing people.” It was a half hearted defense, and one he didn’t entirely agree with. Even if he understood all too well that Derek had been trying his best. Trying to do what he could to mitigate the damage.

“Jackson wouldn't have been killing people, if that… monster, hadn’t bitten him in the first place.”

Scott could practically feel the guilt waving off of Derek. He could feel the older wolf giving in to misery, as if he knew he had no right to defend himself against her. As if he wasn't even going to try and defend himself.

“Just like he bit my Mom. If he hadn’t, she wouldn't be dead right now.”

“Now just wait a second.”

“He deserves it, Scott. I know that you probably feel … attached to him. That he feels like your Alpha, he’s the first werewolf that explained things to you. But Scott, he proved himself a monster a hundred times over.”

Scott expected Derek to stand up to Allison, to defend himself, but he just didn’t. It was that more than anything that made him take a step forward and move between the Alpha and Allison.

To see Derek like this, this defeated, as if he’d already given up, it reminded him far too much of what Derek had been like when Peter had attacked him in the showers. Standing back there, as if all he dared to do was follow Peter’s orders.

“Allison, you don’t understand.”

“My Mom is dead, Scott. I know you don’t understand, but I’d think that Stiles at the very least would.”

It was then that he realized, Allison didn’t know why her mother had been bitten, what had happened. He wanted to tell her, but how could he? Would she even believe him? Allison had already lost her mother, was he supposed to ruin her memories of her Mom as well? But if he didn’t, she might end up killing Derek. And Derek didn’t deserve that either.

“She was trying to kill Scott!” Stiles spat out.

“What?” Allison turned around, staring at Stiles who was standing in between Scott and Lydia.

“Look, I get it. Derek is scary. He’s broody and dark, and he likes to stand around stalking people. He’s a terrible conversationalist, and he has bad taste in biting people. And I’m still pissed at him for sending his Betas after Lydia. If it were up to me, I’d feel a lot better if he just up and left.”

Stiles moved a step closer to Allison. “But your Mom… Didn’t your Dad tell you what she was doing in that warehouse the night she was bitten?”

“She…”

“She hit Scott with a car, Allison.”

Scott wanted to stop him, this wasn’t the way Allison should find out about this.

“And don’t you start and defend her, Scott. I lost a decade of my life when I found out I could have lost you that night.”

“Stiles.”

“She had this wolfsbane disperser. You remember wolfsbane, Allison? The stuff that can kill werewolves? She was going to make it look like Scott died of an asthma attack. She was going to kill him, just because she didn’t like who you were dating. So I’m sorry for your loss, but damn it, if Derek hadn’t been there, if Derek hadn’t done what he did, I would have lost Scott. We both would have lost him” He was right up in Allison’s face at that.

Allison stood there, stunned. Her hand seemed to be stuck in a moment of wanting to move to her mouth as if holding back a scream, or ready to slap Stiles of talking bad of her mother.

“She died.”

“Yeah, but the bite didn’t kill her, now did it? She died, because of your damn Code, because she rather die than live as a werewolf. And that was her choice. And it was unfair of her to do that to you. But it wasn’t Scott’s fault, or even Derek’s.”

“Allison.” Scott tried, desperately wanting to comfort her, but she pulled away from him, turning her back to them. “I…”

“Don’t, just don’t.” She moved to the door, ready to leave.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You still lost her.”

Allison sniffed, she was probably holding back tears. Scott couldn’t even begin to think of something, anything he could say that would make her feel better.

Just as Allison was about to say something a brick came in through the window. Followed by a barrage of gunshots. Scott threw himself over Stiles, Derek pulled Allison down as he covered Lydia. When the gunfire stopped, they stared up around them, the dust settling around them.Stiles looked up at Scott. His limbs feeling warm underneath him. It was strange, feeling Stiles’ breath on him. The others were already climbing back to their feet, and Scott stared around at the damage surrounding them.

Lydia was just getting to her feet as Derek picked up the brick.

The horror radiated off of him as he did.


End file.
